The Girl In The Mirror

Have you ever wanted a book to understand the inner life of your husband or your wife?  Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn interviewed and surveyed thousands of men and women to write their two books ‘For Women Only and For Men Only.‘  When we can better understand our husband or wife, our marriages can be happier. 

Dan and I led a book study on these two books as part of our dance ministry.  Following is an excerpt from the book, For Men Only.

The Girl In The Mirror Written by Jeff Feldhahn

 As I write this, our daughter is five years old and definitely at that ”Daddy’s girl” stage.  She can whack a pretty good line drive for her age.  But she’s happiest, I think, when she’s dancing for me in the consignment-store costume dress Shaunti bought for her last year.  It’s pink, and has a twirly skirt. 

Pink and twirly matters a lot when you’re five.  You should see her twirling around our living room.  She absolutely beams with delight.  Twirl left, pause.  Twirl right. 

“Daddy, watch!” she calls as she spins and the skirt does its thing.
Daddy, look at me!  “Do you think I’m pretty?” 

If you’ve ever had a little girl twirling around your house, you know what I’m thinking right then.  Lord, just let me hold on to this moment!  Please…don’t let my little girl grow up.  

That’s what this chapter is about.  Because you see, in a way little girls never really do.  

Would it surprise you to know that your gifted, hardworking, secure, grown-up wife is still (silently)asking the same question:  “Do you think I’m pretty?”  Only now it’s you watching.  It’s you she’s asking, and you who will decide her haunting question.  Not just “Am I beautiful?” But “Am I beautiful… to him?” 

In a culture where women are bombarded with expectations to lose weight, look younger, look sexy-actually, look perfect-that question has killer consequences.  But it also gives clued-in men an opportunity that we didn’t even know we had to affirm our wives in a very important way. 

In our survey most women told us they had a “deep need or desire” to know that their husband or boyfriend found them beautiful.  

Women need to be reassured often that they are beautiful and they are loved.

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