It’s Not About Me

A few blogs ago, I shared how when Dan and I teach our students a new dance step, we separate the men and the women.  We begin to teach them separately their specific dance steps.  Then after repeating the steps many times, we put the husbands and wives together as ballroom dancers.  It is much easier to do your individual steps than when you try a ballroom dance move together.  You soon realize, it is just not about me.  I have Dan to think about.  I will need to work with him as a leader.  I will have to grant forgiveness when he makes a mistake.  I will need to be his biggest cheerleader.  I will need to practice patience when my toes are stepped on.   I will need to practice grace.  I have to – if I want to continue the dance.  It is not about me, but about us.  

It’s a perfect illustration of how marriage begins.  Two individuals coming together as one.    Each of us has our own separate and different backgrounds.  Different personalities, families, habits, traditions, and struggles. 

Over 40 years ago, a quiet, reserved city boy named Dan came to have his first date with a crazy farm girl named Lori.  I can only imagine his thoughts during that first farm visit.   Oh my! 

Lori Manning & Dan Bailey 1982

On our wedding day, Dan and I became one.   We were in the honeymoon stage and really didn’t know what lay ahead.  

I believe God put two totally different individuals in a marriage to practice grace and forgiveness.  I know Dan closer than anyone else.  I can’t expect perfection.  To truly love Dan is to set aside my own selfish nature.  Selfish and marriage don’t mix.  The good Lord has to work with me daily.  



God’s Word-Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

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