The Grass is always Greener…

The Grass is always Greener… 

‘Where You Water It’

Dan and I have a brand new yard this year.  We went from full shade to full sun.  No we did not move, it was because of a land hurricane or Derecho.   In August of 2020, we lost between 50-60 trees in our yard.  

We soon realized with full sun, your yard dries out much faster.  You need lots of water to make your grass, vegetables and flowers look good.  Mother Nature did not help us much with rain this summer.  We spent lots of our time watering our yard.  If we did not take care and water our new sun loving plants, everything would have died. 

Our city is currently in a severe drought.  

This reminded me of what a marriage looks like without watering it.  If we don’t take care of our marriage it will eventually dry out and die.   A good marriage doesn’t happen on it’s own.  It takes work and action. 

Are you in a drought?  

God’s Word-Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV   Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Is The Honeymoon Over?

What are the 3 stages of “practice” in a marriage?

Stage One: The Excitement Stage-This is the beginning of being together.  It is the honeymoon stage.  You dream about your future and all the wonderful times you will have together.  

You make the commitment to be together forever.  You want to spend the rest of your life with each other.  

Stage Two: Work Stage

After the honeymoon is over real life sets in.  Children, employment, busyness, and stresses of life are part of this stage. 

Marriage Books, Conferences, and God’s Word can help with how to keep closeness in marriage.  We have done them all.  But it is up to the two of us to put it into action.  Dan and I both need to work on striving to keep our marriage close and healthy.  

The more effort we put into our marriage, the healthier it will be. 

It can be very hard.  Many don’t make it. : (

Stage Three:  Reward Stage:  After you have put in a lot of time and effort in improving your marriage, it does become more fun.   

You never stop finding ways to make your marriage better.  It is constant but the reward is great.  

BFF

God’s Word-Proverbs 18:15

Wise men and women are always learning , always listening to fresh insights. The Message

Ballroom Dance Practice

We like to say there are three stages to ballroom dance practice.

Stage One: Excitement stage: 

This is where it begins.  You may be dreaming about being a contestant on “Dancing with the Stars”.    For Dan and I, our daughter was getting married soon, so we, or should I say, “I”  thought it would be nice to learn Ballroom Dance.  So I had to get Dan onboard.   We took our first dance lessons with friends, which helped. 

With Ballroom Dancing it takes two people. So the commitment to learn a new skill has to be from the two of you.  You both have to want to dance and practice.  It is new and exciting!

Stage Two: Work Stage:  

This is where the action begins.  You have to work together.  You can’t learn Ballroom by  watching others, YouTube or reading a book. 

Dan and I have taken dance lessons, watched YouTube and videos, but then we have to practice what we learn.  This takes time.  We look at this as our togetherness time.  

We have to practice steps over and over again.  Stepping on toes, frustration, mistakes, and forgiveness are a part of this stage.  When you begin, you will most likely not look smooth.  It looks mechanical.  Most people give up. 

Stage Three-Reward Stage:

After lots of practice your dancing looks and becomes more natural.  You will not have to think so hard. The muscle memory sets in. You will have confidence on the dance floor.

It becomes more fun. 

Dan and I do not stop practicing at this stage, but we continue to build on the skills we have.  If we want to continue dancing, we keep practicing.  

We are rewarded with dancing together!  

Master The Skill

To master Ballroom Dancing, you have to practice to learn the dance steps.  It takes a lot of practice before you feel comfortable out on the dance floor.      

For those of you who have learned to play a musical instrument, master a sport or speak a foreign language, you know you have to practice to become better.  You can’t go to class and play in the orchestra if you have never practiced at home.  You can’t run a marathon if you have never taken a run. You can’t go speak a foreign language to someone if you have not practiced beforehand.  A skill takes continual practice.  The more you practice the better you become. 

It takes action.  You can not watch Youtube or read a book and expect to become better at something.  Visual aids are tools that can help but action has to be a part of the learning experience.  

You also have to set aside time if you expect this to happen. It takes discipline.  If you don’t want to put in the time, it’s best you don’t start. 

Dan and I practice every Wednesday morning, at 6 a.m.  We have a playlist of different songs that we practice our ballroom dance steps to.  Going to area dances also gives us a chance to practice our steps. We have learned many steps over the years, but if we don’t practice they tend to disappear from our memory.  It may still be there in the old noggin , but you have to work on refreshing the skill all over again. 

Muscle memory converts a short-term memory into a long term memory.  Practice is what makes it long term.  Then you will dance without thinking so hard.  It will become more natural and fun.

Dan and I can teach a step to our dance class, but it is up to them to practice at home. It is up to the couple to master the skill.  We can’t do that for them. 

God’s Word-Proverbs 12:1 -The Message

If you love learning, you love the discipline that goes with it— how shortsighted to refuse correction!