A Vibrant Life

God’s Word shares with us many verses on forgiveness.  He knows the importance of forgiveness for a vibrant healthy marriage.  He knows if we are to live a healthy life, we need to forgive.  

God forgives us over and over again.  He tells us to do the same.  Colossians 3:13 -Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (NLT)

If there is unforgiveness, our hearts and soul are affected.  Actually, everything we do is affected.  We can not love as God intended if there is unforgiveness.  We can become ill with our unforgiveness. 

John Hopkins Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. 

God shares this knowledge in His Word.  He knows the importance of forgiving others.  

Forgiveness will give us healthy relationships and vibrant life.  Our marriages will benefit from the act of forgiveness. 

If you want to stay healthy, forgive quickly.

It’s Not About Me

A few blogs ago, I shared how when Dan and I teach our students a new dance step, we separate the men and the women.  We begin to teach them separately their specific dance steps.  Then after repeating the steps many times, we put the husbands and wives together as ballroom dancers.  It is much easier to do your individual steps than when you try a ballroom dance move together.  You soon realize, it is just not about me.  I have Dan to think about.  I will need to work with him as a leader.  I will have to grant forgiveness when he makes a mistake.  I will need to be his biggest cheerleader.  I will need to practice patience when my toes are stepped on.   I will need to practice grace.  I have to – if I want to continue the dance.  It is not about me, but about us.  

It’s a perfect illustration of how marriage begins.  Two individuals coming together as one.    Each of us has our own separate and different backgrounds.  Different personalities, families, habits, traditions, and struggles. 

Over 40 years ago, a quiet, reserved city boy named Dan came to have his first date with a crazy farm girl named Lori.  I can only imagine his thoughts during that first farm visit.   Oh my! 

Lori Manning & Dan Bailey 1982

On our wedding day, Dan and I became one.   We were in the honeymoon stage and really didn’t know what lay ahead.  

I believe God put two totally different individuals in a marriage to practice grace and forgiveness.  I know Dan closer than anyone else.  I can’t expect perfection.  To truly love Dan is to set aside my own selfish nature.  Selfish and marriage don’t mix.  The good Lord has to work with me daily.  

Marriage=Us

 

God’s Word-Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Watch Those Toes!

Part of dancing is making mistakes.  I like to say, mistakes are part of the learning process.  When you learn a new step with Ballroom dancing, you have to do it over and over and over again before it looks smooth.  With this, it will look a bit rough at times.   You will step on each other’s toes. 

2 great examples of making mistakes as part of learning are beginning to play an instrument or learning a foreign language.  Both take lots of practice and repetition.  Many of you can relate to these two examples.   How many times did you say the wrong thing when learning a new language?   It can sound a bit rough as you are learning a new instrument.  We had 3 daughters play the violin.  Oh, the screeching of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’ 

Mistakes help you identify areas you need improvement.  When Dan and I have taken dance lessons, we come home and practice.  We find out quickly what areas we need help in.  Then for the next class, we know what to have the teacher help us with.

If we are afraid of making mistakes in ballroom dance, we will never attempt more difficult dance steps.  Our progress of becoming better dancers will stop.  Mistakes=Learning=Progress

Because you are learning a new skill with someone else, you will need to extend grace and mercy to your dance partner.   Yes, you will need to over and over and over again. : 0 You will both make mistakes. 

If you don’t want your toes stepped on, you will need to give up ballroom dancing together. 

God’s Word-NLT Colossians 3:13

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Mad Dancing

Can you ballroom dance when you are mad or angry at your spouse?  I sadly have to say through experience that it is almost impossible.  When you are dancing with your spouse, there is such closeness.  But the atmosphere becomes chilled when anger creeps in.  You don’t look smooth as a couple and it does not look attractive in your appearance.  You probably will not be able to concentrate on the steps you are trying to accomplish.  So at that moment you should step away and go sit down until you can resolve the conflict, hopefully quickly.

In your marriage, anger and conflict also keep you from being close in your relationship.  Your marriage will not be smooth or attractive, and you won’t be able to accomplish what God has planned for you on the days you are angry.  The longer the conflict goes, the more likely bitterness will set in.  There is power in physical touch, so when there is conflict, take your spouse’s hand and say you are sorry so the dance can continue on.

God’s Word-Colossians 3:13   Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. [NLT]